coffee date #56 with sruthi kunamneni

med student, butt-pad queen, baker & eater, tcnj alum, oldest-of-3-sisters-yet-the-shortest, girl scout, tennis pro, coffee date #25‘s roommate, self-proclaimed weirdo

me: cappuccino with almond milk | sruthi: cappuccino with whole milk
location: sihana café, newark

---

For the longest time, Sruthi was one of two things to me: 1) the girl whose mom is friends with my aunt and 2) the girl who tore her meniscus within weeks of joining the dance team. Wild beginnings, I know.

In college, Sruthi became the go-to person for a neutral yet honest perspective. She has this unique ability to hold space for multiple viewpoints and understand each of them with zero judgement. Post-college, I’ve realized that Sruthi, much like coffee date #25, is just really good at understanding people. She knows how each person in her life is different and adapts how she shows up for them accordingly.

“It’s not that I’m not connected to my emotions. It’s just that I don’t have them.” – Sruthi Kunamneni, 2025

Sruthi is one of those people who you could be laughing your ass off with one second and be having a deep, vulnerable conversation with the next. So here it goes:

Diving into the world of Sruthi Kunamneni….

Epiphanies

• baby Sruthi, who was she?

I love starting my dates by asking people to describe to me their childhood self—the child who lived life before all the external noise caught up to them.

Sruthi’s immediate response was:

“I was very uninhibited and really weird. I built a house for a deer once.” – Sruthi Kunamneni, 2025

Never did I have anyone directly tell me that they’re weird. I usually get characteristics like shy, adventurous, or innocent. But of course, the one and only Sruthi described herself as weird. An icon.

• the parent-child relationship

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: ‼️ parents can and should be their child’s friend, but the child should never become the parent’s friend. ‼️

When parents occasionally act like friends, their child learns they’re supported and cared for. But when roles reverse, the child begins carrying the weight of their parent’s emotions. This can breed deep feelings of inadequacy, people-pleasing tendencies, and so much more. A child simply does not have the solutions for an adult’s life, so the adult should not be turning to the child for these solutions to begin with.

This is why parents need solid adult relationships to lean on—for their own well-being and their children’s. It’s also why greater support systems are essential for parents, guardians, and caretakers, whether through community resources, family connections, or even legal measures.

• should we prioritize romantic partners?

I’ve come to the realization that in my previous relationships, I had this tendency to place my romantic partner as priority #3. First comes my brother. Second, the rest of my family and my friends. Then, at the whopping third place, comes my romantic partner.

Recently, I’ve realized that maybe this is unfair to my partner because they too must want to feel the love right? Naturally, I asked the most level-headed person I know when it’s appropriate to “upgrade” someone into the inner circle.

Sruthi said that this hierarchical setup is most likely a coping mechanism – a way for me to protect myself. And of course she was right.

I have this theory that romantic partners can easily leave our lives just as easily as they’ve entered it. Our friends and family, on the other hand, can’t leave our lives as easily as the romantic partners, so prioritizing the friends and family feels safer. But Sruthi flipped my thinking by suggesting that maybe, just maybe, there’s no need for a hierarchy at all. #stunned

“It’s not a rat race of people in your life against each other. Everyone can coexist.” – Sruthi Kunamneni, 2025

Sruthi argued that there’s enough love, time, and space for everyone in my life. While the idea feels liberating, it’s also extremely terrifying. Still, she may be right.

• labelling people as good or bad

Sruthi and I differ wildly in the sense that I dislike very many people and Sruthi dislikes close to no one. However, we both are similar in the sense that we no longer label those we dislike as being “bad.”

“Just because I’m not friends with someone—or don’t see myself being friends with them—doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. We’re just incompatible, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” – Sruthi Kunamneni, 2025

• some iconic Sruthi quotes

I’d like to end the post by highlighting some of Sruthi’s quotes from the date that deserve their own appreciation:

“I don’t remember by thoughts.”

“Make shit happen for yourself.”

“Make it your life. You’re not living for anyone else.”