“Home is not a place…it’s a feeling.”

Currently writing from my basement as I reflect on the rollercoaster of memories and feelings I’ve developed during the course of my one month trip to India. 

Saying ta-ta to India is always a very bittersweet feeling, but this time it was much harder. I realized that this was the first time I actually found a home in India. All the other times I’ve visited, I followed my parents around and didn’t have the space to go explore. This time, I made it abundantly clear that this India trip is for me and I am going to squeeze life out of every day. And that’s exactly what I did. 

I’ve always hated Hyderabad every time we’ve visited in the past. I hated just sitting in my grandparents’ apartment and doing nothing but watching Telugu movies and serials all day. 

However, once I met my two good friends from Hyderabad, they introduced me to a whole new side of the city. They showed me a side of Hyderabad where true & hardcore friendships are created. Friendships seem so different here and I know other NRI humans, like coffee date #20, agree. The friendships here feel like the ‘life or death’ kinda bonds, where friends will actually move mountains to look after you. It’s a comforting feeling. They also introduced me to the lavish side of Hyderabad. The restaurants are truly exquisite. They’re filled with boujee interior and food, making it impossible to walk in with sweats and a tee. The live Telugu music is the cherry on top because it’s impossible to not bop to the music due to the band’s supreme talent. 

Though I LOVED Hyderabad, there were still some things that shook me to some extent. There’s a strong class divide in the city. There is an evident area of the city where the less privileged live compared to the more privileged. The more privileged or richer side of the city is filled with elite stores, restaurants, salons, designer places, and other luxuries that the other side has none of. Hell, even the roads are different.

It just felt like money and power were everything. With money, I was able to sit in the VIP area of the movie theater. With money, I was able to get the most elite treatment at one of the top salons in the city. With money, I was greeted differently by the employees of stores and restaurants. There was too much emphasis on financial wealth and power.

In general, India is home. It’s where my parents and grandparents were born and raised. It’s where my ancestors have thrived. It’s where the color of my skin is not a zone of judgment. It’s where my love for kurtis is not seen as a ‘cultural outfit’ – it’s just normal. It’s where the honking of the cars, bikes, and autos continuously ring in your ears. It’s where the touch of your elders gives you goosebumps as you realize that they’re actually proud of you. It’s where unbreakable friendships form. It’s a place of belonging – a place to call home. 

I am currently feeling that feeling where you have the most exquisite time during vacation or somewhere away from your normal life, where you feel the real ‘highs’ and once you come back you just feel really ‘low,’ as if you’re missing something, a piece of you. Maybe that piece of me is still in India, which is surely a sign for me to return again.