Dear Diary…

Yesterday I woke up at 6:30am to finish my winter course work. I wanted to get a head start on the day, so that I could start next week’s work too because I knew I’d be busy with extracurriculars in the days to come.

I finished the day’s work by 10:00am, worked out, ate lunch, and then dropped my brother off at his Robotics class. While waiting in Starbucks to pick him up, I opened my laptop again hoping to start next week’s work. Sadly, my professor had locked that work until the next week :/

I spent the next two hours racking my brain, trying to figure out what other work I had to finish before picking up my brother. I felt my anxiety skyrocket because I had planned to get ahead, “be productive,” and not “waste” the two hours I had.

I went home thinking that I’d work on other things because it’s not okay for me to not be working right? Bullshit. I realized it was moments like these that I wanted to fix in 2022. I wanted to learn how to allow myself to be free and learn to not let work and productivity overtake me.

It’s okay to relax. Breaks are not meant only for the times when we work our butts off. Breaks are also meant for the days we do absolutely nothing. Relaxing, breathing, and living in the moment can happen at any time, and we should make space in our lives to have those moments, guilt-free.

In the episode linked above, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda talk about how having an insanely rigid routine can oftentimes create more harm than good. “Self-love” does not mean we HAVE to always meditate every single day, do yoga every single day, or finish an X amount of work every single day. Sometimes the best thing we can do on our “self-love” journey is to give ourselves the freedom to listen to what we truly need on that given day.

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