“M” ❤️

We’ll call her “M.”

I only began visiting “M” about a month ago. I’d see her every Friday and we’d chat by her bedside. “M” was about a month shy of her 88th birthday. She passed away yesterday.

“M” was a vibrant soul. She was an aide in the past and worked overnight shifts in her local hospital, taking care of her patients.

She was diagnosed with progressive cancer.

“M” is the mother of 3 kids, has 9 grandchildren, and 11 great-grandchildren. She loves each and every single one of them.

“M” loved learning about my Indian culture and she adored the pictures I would show her of my family and me.

She repeatedly told me “Oh honey, you’re beautiful but make sure you focus on your studies. I know I sound like your mother, but still focus on your education first.”

“M” loved to get her nails painted and play Bingo.

She loved her nature walks outside and was a fan of the sun.

“M” showed me beautiful pictures of herself from her surprise birthday party. She was cheesin’ so hard in all of those pictures.

She would always say that I am going to make my parents proud when I go to medical school and become a doctor.

“M” and I would watch TV in her room and laugh at the people coming on to the show and wonder how they look similar to celebrities.

“M” was a radiating soul full of wholesome wisdom and energy. Thankful to have spent some time with her ❣️

Bodies, Bodies, Bodies

Thankful to all of YOU who have showered this post with so much love ❤ This post, in particular, took a lot of courage to publish and I’m grateful that it resonated with so many of you.

I truly love the fam that we’re creating on this site and am incredibly happy that I decided to embark on this blogging journey. Blogging is something I do to just unleash my emotions – this site acts as my digital diary. Every post comes straight from my heart and I am beyond joyous that many of you are taking the time to read my words. Sending you all so much love!

Esha Kode's avatarEsha Kode

In all honesty, I was terrified to draft and publish this blog post because it’s forcing me to write down and reflect on my CURRENT thoughts. All my other posts are generally things that I’ve dealt with and thought about in the past, so it’s easier to reflect because I moved past that stage already. This topic, on the other hand, seems to always be a part of me no matter how hard I try to move past it. Thus, I was prompted to draft this post because I’ve been feeling this way since the beginning of this year. I hope it resonates with those of you who feel a similar way.

TW: body image issues, eating disorders

To begin, my first exposure to the Eurocentric ideas of a woman’s body began in eighth grade (which is, unfortunately, extremely late compared to children today). Up until eighth grade, I ate…

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