As I started to respond to texts from my friends and answer phone calls from my relatives, I began to feel an overwhelming amount of love. On a typical birthday, I kinda breeze through the day doing the same thing I did 2 days ago – reply to texts & answer phone calls. However, this year felt different. I feel whole.
I finally reached the point in my life where I am actively creating and cherishing relationships with people who matter the most to me. I am so in tune with my energy and monitor how high or low it gets when I am around people. This has been helping so freaking much when it comes to cultivating ‘heart-squishing’ relationships.
2023 just feels life changing for some reason. I have this gut feeling that this is the year where I will fully step into myself and allow myself to be human – the good, the bad, and the ugly that comes with being human.
I want to make wholesome memories, be warm towards my loved ones, and pursue the dreams that I was once afraid of even dreaming of.
I realize that it is now February 2023, and it has almost been 2 years since I’ve created this epic space and have catapulted myself back into the writing world.
I wanted to take a moment to appreciate all of you. Though this space is mostly for my inner thoughts to make their way out into the world, I’ve grown to love all of your comments, appreciation, and conversations. Ya’ll make me feel like whatever small amount I’m contributing is enough, so thank you <3.
In addition, I wanted to make a list for what to expect this year. Throughout my 38 conversations with my coffee dates and a plethora of other experiences, I’ve evolved and feel much more changed from the person I was back in 2020. Every time I put something out here, it helps me hold myself accountable, so here it goes.
I want to have more wholesome conversations with people from different backgrounds & perspectives. I learned that I absolutely love connecting with people in the most unexpected ways and speaking from the heart right off the bat (shoutout to the counselors and boys at Bal Ashram for helping me realize this!)
I want to jump onto new opportunities and not hold myself back. If I have the mental energy, I want to go after things if and when they come to me because change is the only constant in life.
Find a more creative voice and act on those creative passions. Starting this blog was my first step into using my creative voice. I think I’m now ready for the next steps. I have a few ideas that I’ve been ruminating about for quite some time now, so 2023 may be that year where I actually bring all of those little creations to life.
50 coffees?! It is actually insane to me that I only have 12 more coffees to go to hit that 50 coffee mark (I’ll definitely probably make this an ongoing project, but hitting 50 after almost two years will feel incredibly fulfilling).
It was my birthday on April 8th. I just turned 20 and I’m still feeling a bit lost and unworthy of a lot of things. New insecurities have manifested, some of the old ones are still present. It’s a work in progress.
I opened my email today and found this note I wrote to myself on my 19th birthday to give to my future 20 year old self. It warmed my soul <3.
I used to have a hard time going to sleep. My grandma would attest to that. I would roll around and take a good 30-45 minutes to fall asleep. That was maybe a few years ago.
Now, at around 11:00pm, I cozy myself into bed and am able to fall asleep in 10 minutes. It sounds stupid to even talk about it, but this one action truly changed the way I function every day- manifesting.
When I get into bed, I picture and imagine myself doing exactly what I hope to achieve in the future. This ranges from the wildest, like walking at NYFW as a supermodel, being on the Forbes Under 30 List, to the simplest, like traveling to Varanasi, India and finding my spiritual self or succeeding during a simple pediatric surgery. Picturing myself in the moment doing what I love and being awarded for doing what I love puts me to sleep in minutes. Why? Because I’m at peace with myself in those wavering minutes before I close my eyes and wait for the day to restart.
Manifestation is real folks. I would tell you how Merriam-Webster defined manifestation, but I didn’t like their version. However, I totally agree with Kelsey Aida’s definition: “to me a manifestation (noun) is something you bring forth into your physical life experience through past thoughts, feelings, or beliefs. This could be an experience, an object, a person… anything!” Beautifully said!
The best part of this whole manifestation spiel is that it’s so easy to practice! I mean it’s “so easy” only if you are so clear on what exactly you want.
Let me list out the steps that you can take to realize the power of manifestation and even implement it into your life.
Hone in on what you want and what you want to ask for. Yeah, I’m literally asking you to ask yourself “What do you want? What do you want the Universe to listen to and reply to you with?”
A few years ago, I hosted and organized my very own TEDx event called, TEDxYouth@ConinesMillPond. The event occurred during my late junior year of high school. It took me over a year to put that event together not because it was hard finding relevant and amazing speakers or locking a venue or finding volunteers or advertising. It was hard because my application got rejected 5 times. 5 freaking times.
TEDx organizer applications are not short and easy. They take an immense amount of thought and effort. The first 2 times, I guess I didn’t really care that much. My ego was hurt for sure because I’ve never been rejected THAT many times for anything before, but it still didn’t kill me because hosting and organizing was not a burning passion of mine.
After the third rejection, I don’t know if I became more engrossed in the event than I was originally, but it hurt. It hurt a lot. I was thinking of giving up. I was over it. I was sick of it, but then I realized I really really really wanted it. I wanted to host and organize the first ever TEDx event in my town and talk about mental health openly.
I started to completely involve myself in re-building the TEDx application. I went to bed picturing myself on the stage, hosting and anchoring the event with professional cut-outs of “TEDxYouth@ConinesMillPond” in the back. I would be in the middle of school and would suddenly get an idea for a theme or venue or speaker and would immediately ask the teacher to use the restroom, but in reality would go to my locker and jot down the idea. I was constantly thinking about the event and picturing myself IN the event. Took 5 tries, but it happened folks: I got accepted!
The Universe obviously listened. It didn’t react as fast as I would have liked it to, but there’s definitely a reason for that too: it wanted to wait until I was absolutely sure that this was what I wanted to do.
Step 2:
Patience my friend. Patience.
In her post, Kelsey says “the Universe wouldn’t plant an idea or inspiration in your head that it could not achieve for you.”
PREACH! If you believe and want something so much, then there’s obviously a reason you got the idea to believe and want it! So, be patient and let the Universe do its thing.
Step 3:
Implement the chemistry concept of “like dissolves like” into your life.
Your “manifestation powers” are not going to immediately give you what you want because “your energy has to match that of what you are asking for in order for it to come anywhere near you.”
Just like how “like dissolves like” in chemistry with the solvents and solutes, what you want will only appear to you if your energy vibes with what you want.
All of us have days when we really want something. For example, a close person to me really wanted to pursue a PhD. She talked about it for a couple months and was passionate about it, but there was always some hesitation. After really contemplating if gaining a PhD was what she truly wanted, she realized that she wanted to pursue a PhD not for herself, but in fact, for her family- to prove them a point.
Yes, she really wanted that PhD for a little time, but her “energy” was not at the same capacity as what she asked the Universe for.
Step 4:
Stop, Drop, & Be Content
Kelsey mentions that “you have to be in a place of nonresistance in order to receive your manifestation.”
Nonresistance means at peace with yourself.This can be done differently for everyone. For me, it’s running in the mornings. I find that when I run in the mornings, long before my whole house wakes up, I am more zen and aware of my thoughts and actions throughout the course of the day. For others, this might mean doing some yoga or meditation, painting, driving, praying, etc.
This works because “when you stop thought you are open and connected to the Universe.”
Step 5:
Constantly opt for thoughts, people, and things that will increase your “energy”
Increasing your energy will match it with the Universe’s and you will be that much closer to gaining your manifestation.
This process of practicing manifesting may also throw you down a path of honing in on the toxicity in your life and disposing it.
This toxic energy can come from objects as well as people. Dispose of the objects. Maintain a distance with the people.
Conclusion
Wanna know a little secret? I manifested the idea of creating a non-profit and having a website for the longest time- 3 years to be exact!
Try manifesting. Give it time and really choose the high energy path. Immerse yourself in your new visions and ideas. Give the Universe time to reply.
For more detailed and expert steps on manifestation, be sure to check out Kelsey Aida’s Website!
Esha Kode 