emotions – Esha Kode

“Inaction is the holiday of fools, who trade temporary comfort for long-term existential suffering…. Action is a life-giving breath. Inaction is a slow death.” – Better Ideas

Throughout the pandemic, I worked super hard to set a routine for myself – especially in the mornings because I love my mornings. I’d wake up bright & early, workout, get a lot of work done, not look at any social media until after my workout. I was happy with spending time with myself and not having so much stimuli enter my world.

However, college forced me to change my routine and since then I have not been able to get back to the same level of routine I had built during the pandemic. I now struggle to wake up to my alarm. I still love mornings, but it has become increasingly difficult to begin those mornings. I open Instagram right in bed to urge me to get tf out of bed. However, by doing that, I’m allowing an incredible amount of external stimuli to jolt my brain first thing in the morning. Working out has become an inconsistent action. I’ve started to rely more heavily on my morning cup of coffee. It’s just different.

As a result of this change and the weird feelings associated with it, I wanted to highlight this video. It was breathtakingly shot and addressed the mental rut that I’m currently in. I hope you enjoy the video as much as I did 🙂

i struggle to say the the words that hold such deep meaning in our world. i feel the feelings associated with those three words and yet the war inside my head ultimately prevents me from verbalizing those feelings. but, i feel it all and i love it all and i want to share it all.

“i love you” is beautiful. it’s a phrase that eloquently puts into words the feelings that twist and flutter our hearts. it’s a phrase that can break someone out of their trance and make them believe that they are enough. it’s a phrase that makes one feel protected.

it’s a phrase used for all kinds of relationships.

the “i love you” friendship: it’s meant for the friends who make us feel seen. the ones who will run to you when you’re in agonizing pain. the ones who will slap your face to bring you back to the world of the living. the ones who will force themselves to lie down next to you and not feel the need to fill the silence. the friends who are by no means ‘clingy’ – they are the ones who care. it is when you encounter friends like this that you have to compile all your emotions for that person in the most meaningful way possible and say “i love you” for who they are, for how they are, and for who they make you become.

the “i love you” romantic relationship: it’s meant for the partner(s) who makes our hearts a bit fluttery. it might take a minute to notice our hearts skipping some beats, feeling warm & fuzzy, and causing our bodies and souls to feel whole. it’s meant for the one who accepts you – completely and utterly. the partner who never ever judges you for your ever changing appearance and the one who stays no matter how much your appearance does and will change. it’s meant for the partner that makes you feel like your ambitions and hard work matter. it’s that partner who deserves the “i love you” because it is impossible to say anything else that can perfectly encapsulate everything that you’re feeling.

the “i love you” family: it’s meant for the familial members who are on a life-long learning path. the members who never judge you for who you are and how you have evolved. it’s meant for the members who are there when you’re rich and there when you’re poor. it’s for the members who make you feel rich with emotions and generosity. it’s meant for the members who let you live the way you need to live. these members will be by your side until your very last breath. say it to them. tell them “i love you.”

“i love you” is powerful, bold, and authentic.

“i love you” is not discriminatory, prejudiced, or racist.

“i love you” is gentle, wholesome, and sweet.

i love you.