anxiety

Catapult #4

by Esha Kode

Isha Kriya Meditation

Life has been a whirlwind these past few months – especially since I’ve started my job as a medical scribe. My anxiety has peaked in ways never before, to the point where I struggle to sleep and work.

There have also been a lot of other things that I’ve been trying to complete. But as a perfectionist, I never feel satisfied and always feel like there is more to do, which inevitably leaves me feeling even more disappointed and fatigued.

I realized that I have immense ambitions that are underway and am excited about, but at the same time, I am identifying myself with these ambitions. More specifically, I am identifying myself with my thoughts.

Additionally, I’ve begun working out regularly for the past year and have started to eat more healthily in hopes of attaining my fitness goals. However, in this process, I’ve also started to identify with my body.

In essence, when we identify ourselves with our bodies and minds, we limit ourselves from experiencing life for what it is. This is still a concept that I’m trying to grasp because it still seems so unreal and existential, which is why I decided to embark on the Isha Kriya Meditation journey.

Sadhguru recommends that people do this meditation either twice a day for 48 days or once a day for 90 days. However, my life is so unpredictable at the moment and I don’t want to restrict myself with certain “deadlines” because that will simply cause me more anxiety.

So, I am going to TRY to do the Isha Kriya meditation at least once every day and we’ll see if I am able to keep this up for 3 months.

My goal in catapulting myself into the world of meditation is to learn to think and feel broader than the boundaries set by my mind and body. I don’t think meditation will “cure” my anxious thoughts, but I do think it will help me become more aware and better at coping with them.

I encourage you all to try this with me because then maybe we can connect together and discuss our spiritual findings after the 90 days are up 🙂

Less Anxious in Warmer Weather

by Esha Kode

This may sound trivial, but I’ve recently (meaning two days ago) realized how dependent my mood is on the weather. For the past couple of months, weather in NJ has been shitty to say the least. Spontaneous snow storms, cold nights, frosty mornings.

I remember when quarantine first started in March 2020, I was heavily dependent on my morning walks/jogs, afternoon bike rides, driveway workouts because these were the only ways for me to get out of my anxious head and focus on something else. I even slept with my windows open because feeling the energy of Nature made me feel less suffocated and more liberated. As November and December came rolling around, I was no longer able to continue those activities nor was I able to leave the windows open because the weather was not allowing me to. That’s when, I realized, my anxiety started spiraling.

I am in awe with the fact that my anxiety is far better when I am in contact with Nature. This explains why the winter months are sometimes exhausting to get through because I have no damn escape route.

These last 2 days, Mother Nature turned around and the weather has been absolutely beautiful. I’ve gone on hour long walks and absorbed all the energy radiating not only from Nature itself (the sun, trees, wind), but also from the other families I see and their kids running around chaotically. It’s remarkable and makes me feel so wholesome. I feel so much more connected to myself and the rest of the world.

After spending simply an hour outside, I find myself more ready to attend classes and do the same amount of mentally draining work without feeling so deeply anxious all the time.

Let me know if any of you feel the same way!